Everyone can sing! Or not? That of course depends on your definition of singing. But what if I say that everyone also has an amazing voice? Would that be even possible? You'll discover the answer to that question in this article!
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Let's have a look at what we refer to as "singing". Cambridge Dictionary gives us the following definition: "the activity of making musical sounds with the voice". This implies that, whether or not we would call it "good" or beautiful singing, everyone who can produce sounds with their voice can sing.
Our understanding of singing, and its implications
Often though, when we say we can't sing, we actually mean that it doesn't sound good, according to our standards. So what are these standards? In our Western society, we have a pretty interesting view on singing. We see singing as a skill. We put skilled people on a stage and pay lots of money to see and hear those couple of famous people perform their repertoire of songs. In the best case, we in the crowd join in, singing at the top of our lungs – because, hey, when everyone sings, nobody can hear us anyway, right? And in those cases when it is merely expected that we just sit and listen – sorry: – quietly enjoy the music being performed for us, we'll just do that. In other words, singing is accepted only when we can hide – or when we possess "the skill".
We believe that in order to be able to "sing", the sound we produce has to be beautiful or cool; we have to be on pitch and rhythm all the time, without exception, or you'll be criticized. In order to be able to do that, we take singing classes. But what if I told you that that is not necessary?
In singing lessons people are taught how to manipulate the muscles of the body, so that a beautiful (or cool) sound is produced. The same notes are repeated over and over, so that those "grooves" get deeper ingrained in the muscle memory than everything that is off pitch, and so this track gets "chosen" next time we attempt to create that particular sound. (You can compare it with a LP or a CD if you like; the grooves help to choose and create the right sound.)
But... is singing actually a skill – and a skill only?
What singing actually is – Everyone can sing by design!
So, what is singing actually? Singing is a way of self-expression. Yes, singing is a way to express our truth; who we are, what we are feeling, and how we are doing. On top of that, our voice often expresses more than only the words or lyrics we sing. That is exactly why we often feel very vulnerable expressing our own being through our vocal sounds - aka singing (as well as other forms of creativity).
What implications does this have for our discussion here?
Let me ask you a question: Imagine walking into a room, and people in that room saying to you: "Hi! Come on in! You're so welcome here! But only if you are beautiful, or cool (or fill in the blanks)!" What would that feel like? Stressful, right?! Would you run? Quite possibly!
And that's exactly what we, in our Western society, do with our voices! When we put that pressure on our voices – "You better sing well, or don't sing at all!" - we shut people down. People? Yes, singing was a way of self-expression, remember? When we feel that certain parts of us are not welcome, not allowed, too much pressure is being put on us to only show those parts of us that are (socially) accepted, and this creates stress, tensions, and ultimately blocks. Shutting down our voices means shutting down ourselves. And shutting down parts of ourselves – out of fear, or criticism – means shutting down our voices at the same time.
In short: criticizing people based on the sounds they bring forth – anyone needed to do a singing test at school, or heard from peers, teachers or even parents that their singing sounds "awful"? – criticizes the person, and therefore only diminishes their ability to bring forth these socially accepted sounds that we call singing.
How are you doing so far? Recognizable? Learning something new?
Why is this important?
People who feel they are loved and accepted exactly as they are, in whatever circumstance, naturally have an open voice, as they did not develop those muscle tensions – blocks – that hinder the natural flow of energy, and therefore of the voice.
But we do not feel loved and accepted unconditionally, do we?
And so we either shut up or hide our singing, thinking we can't sing, or in fear of criticism, or we spend a good amount of time in singing lessons to "develop our singing skill".
So, let me ask you: What if you wouldn't have been criticized? What if you would have been encouraged to express yourself freely instead? Would you be a different person right now? And how different would your vocal expression – or "singing skill" be right now?
(I would love to read your answers to these questions in the comments below!)
Everything would have been quite different, I can tell you.
You see, there are no people who cannot sing. Yes, you read that right! There are no people who really cannot sing – except for those that don't have vocal chords or have some other physical problem that keeps them from making vocal sounds altogether. But most of us who say we can't sing don't fall in that category.
It's not that people who believe they can't sing really can't sing; their voices are just too afraid to show themselves. Their bodies are just too blocked to let their sounds come out freely. This is why you believe you can't sing.
But what if we could unlearn all this conditioning, undo all those limiting beliefs, and release all those muscle tensions?
Would it be possible, you think, that even you could sing?
I tell you it is! In all the 10+ years that I have worked with people's voices, I have met many people who believed they couldn't sing, but none – zero! – who really couldn't. Seriously, everyone can sing! What's more, all of these people had an amazing voice once they opened up even a little bit! And often we needed only one session to disarm that undermining limiting belief and bring amazing new – so far hidden – qualities to the surface!
"We all thought we can’t sing at the start of the workshop. After just one session, Lisette proved me wrong, and guided me to find my own voice. The effects of the workshop have carried through to my everyday life, and I have found more confidence in my own self expression."
Kirsikka Sorvoja
Finland
So now that you know this, what can you do?
First of all, acknowledge that you – they – might have been wrong. They only witnessed you struggling to express your real open sound. That doesn't mean you can't sing! It simply means that something blocked your voice from coming out freely – and doesn't it sound plausible that their mere presence could have facilitated this in the first place?
Second, know that there are good possibilities for you to release those blocks, and to welcome your own open voice – your true voice – back into your life. Since we are talking about a topic and experiences that often make us feel very vulnerable, I highly recommend you do this work with someone who is able to create a really safe space for you, who envelops you in a bubble of unconditional love and acceptance for what is, while you work towards your open voice – and your open and free body, mind & soul – together.
"Can I do this with a vocal teacher?" The simple answer is: No. A vocal teacher teaches you how to manipulate your muscles in order to produce a certain sound. You'll learn to sing, yes. And although that might certainly boost your confidence – as, hey, that makes you sound better, right? – that is not solving the underlying issue: you not being able to be who you are, freely and unapologetically. A vocal teacher doesn't deal with the underlying issues, and training your vocal chords in general doesn't diminish the stress of having to live up to certain standards – as many professional singers can attest. But you don't need to learn to sing; everyone can sing by default! It's how you were designed! What you need is something that releases those tensions from their core, so that they are simply no longer needed and fall away. This will not only free your voice; it will free you from your inner burdens as well!
How amazing would it feel if you could just be you, without having to stress about it?
In your singing, and in your life?
What you would need to get there is someone who is able to work deeply with a good mix of psychology and vocal work, an expertise unfortunately still rarely seen. And that while the benefits can be extraordinary, both for the voice, and for the client him- or herself. To be able to help more people through this impactful work, I have, since a couple of years, been offering my True Voice courses and workshops online. Even though True Voice work is very personal, there are many themes – life and voice related – that come up for many (most) of my clients. In addition to that, the group framework has proven to be of extraordinary value for each individual's personal process – yes, offered in a safe space, as explicitly mentioned by many of my former clients.
That is why I have decided to bundle this knowledge – and all the exercises! – into an online program that combines the benefits of an on-demand course (schedule your own sessions!) with the invaluable support and practice opportunities of an involved, supportive community – in which I personally am present as well, for your support and deepening of your learning experience – all this to ensure the personal transformation you have been waiting for!
Welcome to True Voice – True You, an online group program to recover your True Voice and find back the trust and confidence in being You, authentically – including all the theory, examples, voice opening, releasing and empowering exercises, an invaluable community, and... plenty of practice opportunities & support – in a safe space of course!
So, wherever you are in the world:
Let's not "learn to sing".
Instead, let's unlearn and transform all the blocks we have built against our own open voice and being!
Third, be sure to make this authentic connection to yourself and your voice your new way of life, and your life and voice will start to reflect who you are in your core - Authentic, Unique and highly Magnificent! Stepping into your power and own authentic truth won't ever be that much fun and as effective as with this program, I promise!
I hope this article is useful for you! And yes, as presented above, you can dive deeper into this through working with me, either individually or through our True Voice – True You program, as presented above. If you would like to discover the power that lays dormant in your very own voice, I highly recommend you to participate in the program – especially when seeing what other people get out of it.
Unlock your Voice, Confidence & Authenticity!
Find more information about the program here:
And no matter what you decide to do for yourself, this article features a discussion we need to have, as "not being able to sing" – or express who you are authentically – is inhibiting countless of people worldwide, causing so much unhappiness – and not to mention stress!
As a global pandemic of its own – low self-worth, trouble to be yourself unapologetically, inner unhappiness or frustration, or just simply not setting your boundaries (or even knowing them) – it is impairing countless of lives around the world every single day. This needs to be addressed, so we can change it, and bring back our inherent nature: true happiness, when we are allowed to – and feel free – to just be who we are. And the amazing open voice is a great bonus!
So, please give this topic a voice by sharing this article with your network, and join us in the discussion below! What are your experiences with the topics mentioned in this article? Is it recognizable? What is your story? Did you learn something new? Share your experiences, insights, and viewpoints in the comments below!
This sounds so logical, but I had never linked all these things together. I’m definitely considering your program, I signed up to the waitlist! I can’t wait to meet my true voice, because indeed, I can’t sing lol!
Hi Sanna! Welcome! I can’t wait to prove that belief wrong and let you experience your true voice!
What a great article! I never looked at it that way! Wow! Such an eye opener! Thank you!
Great to hear, Maria!